Watching a video on Assisi, the region in Italy possessed with the infectious spirit of St. Francis and St. Clare, I was taken by a segment with the following meditation. As I recently shared some words of the mystic Simone Weil I thought it would be appropriate to offer up some thoughts graced in the spirit of Agape. May the words bring you to a place "free to become each day what a whole life cannot humanly become."
My Life as a Poor Clare
From "The Spirit of Assisi" video
Distributed by: Oriente Occidente Productions
To realize that in something like a breath, a flight, I have spent the greater part of my existence here, a moment suspended, then picked like a peach in June, all its fragrance, its mystery, its poverty and its simplicity in part of the universe’s rhythm.
My life as a Poor Clare, perhaps not yet a re-awakening, but a dream, yes in a great and sweetly wind rock. I speak of a dream, yet here I am lucid attentive to all that happens each event which hints at a presence all the more desired of it not fully perceived.
I wanted to hear your footsteps in the garden Lord and to walk with you. Instead, you set me down here, bent and patient to cultivate that garden for you and for me and for everyone who labors in it during their stay in your house. I wanted to help the whole church, and instead you have put me in a little, hidden place, where to love and to suffer takes up all of each day. I wanted to be filled with you instead you have given me joy and patient waiting.
You didn’t disappoint me Lord, you didn’t betray me when you made me your prisoner so as to set me free to become each day what a whole life cannot humanly become. Do not despoil me of your help, your gift of pity. Here I am a beggar of grace. I am hungry and thirsty for justice. I have fallen deeply into the abyss with the falling of days. I have flown my soul open to sunrises.
Oh my new day, my sun, my perennial day, may I see, may I shine, may I warm myself at your light, your brightness, may I live yearning toward you like the roses in the garden.
Whenever you will desire, coming near by, really you my God, I shall not dare to summon you. I shall admire in silence, made fruitful with you. I offer you Lord this moment which embraces the beginning and the end of a dream I lived during all the sleeping and awakenings of my faith.
[Other than being a part of the video, translated in English, this piece is found in a book entitled "Poverelle dal Signore vocate, Voci dal mondo delle Clarisse" published in 1992 by the Poor Clares in Cortona, Italy. I have not been able to find it anywhere else.]